Thursday, November 29, 2007
Stubborn and Pigheaded
Yeah, that would be us. Yesterday morning my seemingly caring husband and I, his seemingly devoted wife, had a fight. And we haven't spoken since. Over what you ask? Well isn't it obvious? It's the same fight married couples have been having since the dawn of time. He won't put his dirty clothes in the hamper. But that's not what bothers me the most. That's not what caused me to say, uh-huh buddy. I'm not giving in this time. The self-imposed conversation embargo stems from the fact that he thinks it's my job to pick up his clothes. Because...and I quote...what else do you have to do?
What else do I have to do? WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO?? Well let's see. I am the primary caregiver to our children. I have laundry, housecleaning, cooking, grocery shopping and homework to do. I have his lunch to pack because I'm that idiot. I'm the fool who gets up with him in the morning to finish packing his lunch. See he doesn't take a lunch bag to work. OH NO. He takes a 9 qt. Coleman cooler to work. And it's never a sandwich in there. So every morning I get the containers of food out of the refrigerator that I have packed for him, his snack cakes, his crackers, his bag-o-chips and silverware and pack his lunch. Then I fix his coffee. I make sure he has an extra pack of smokes (shut up, I know it's a bad habit.) And why do I do this? It's the same reason that no one in this house knows how to fix a plate of food. I do this because I care. I enjoy making his life a little more comfortable. Oh and then at the end of the day, I'm expected to give him a little sugar.
I know that this man works hard. He works outside. Not a bad deal in the spring or early fall when the sun is warm and there's a nice breeze in the air. But in the dead of summer with high humidity and no breeze or the dead of winter with below zero temperatures and tons of wind...it sucks. And he works a lot of overtime. So I enjoy making his life at home a little nicer. But, he labors under the delusion that because I "don't work" (yeah, right buddy) that I should wait on him hand over freaking foot. And you know what the funny thing is? I would and I do. Just so long as he appreciates it. Yesterday's little comment sent me right over the edge.
Now normally, because I hate fighting, I would have spoken to him when he got home last night. I would have presented my feelings on the matter, listened to his sorry-ass excuse of an apology ('what do you want me to say...I'm sorry? I'm sorry'), accepted it and moved on. But this is not the first time he has made comments like that to me. As if I'm am some sub-standard person now because I don't have a job outside of the home. And while I know in my heart that he doesn't truly feel that way...enough is freaking enough. Now generally, he's very appreciative. He always compliments my cooking (which btw he still did last night but it was to the kids while I was in the kitchen getting a container for the left-over sauce.) He will tell me the house looks nice. And so on and so forth. Which is precisely the reason why I tend to let his little snide comments go because I know that it was said in the heat of an argument and is really not how he truly feels. But did you ever reach a breaking point? Yesterday morning I did.
I watched Joel Osteen last night on TV. He talked about loving one another as today was your last day on earth. He talked about being the bigger person and letting things go. He talked about how it's not always about being right, it's about serving God and others as He serves us. And his devotional in my inbox this morning? Same thing. So I cried and repented to God and then cried some more. But then I got composure before Kenny saw me and stuck to my guns. Stubborn, pig-headed, not at all Christian-like. And I thought about turning around this morning to say I was sorry when he picked up his lunch and started to head out the door. But he never even looked my way. It has now become a battle of wits. I think that tonight when we watch Grey's Anatomy, I'll put on a teddy.
Blessing of the day: I'm blessed to have a marriage that I know will sustain this.