How to be a Good Wife

The Good Wife's Guide

From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
• During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see him.
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
• Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

I'm sure that many of you may have already seen this "alleged" article floating around cyberspace before. But in case you hadn't I thought I would bring it to your attention. Now some of these bullet points are absolutely absurd. And if my husband demanded or expected me to follow them to the letter than he could quite possibly find himself with a few bullet points of his own.

But some of them are quite compelling in regards to running a happy home. When we were children my mother made us put all of our toys away before my father got home from work. 5 minutes after he was home would could drag them all out again. He never said anything so I never understood why we had to do that. Then I became a working mother. When I would leave the house in the morning it would be tidy. When I would come home - NOTHING - would put me in a bad mood faster than seeing a messy house. Mommy was right. Isn't she always?

I learned that if I bombarded my husband with all of my problems and complained about what the boys had done the moment he walked in the door, it would get on his nerves. I learned to wait 15 minutes or so. And I too understand that. Geez oh man, I just got home. Give me a minute.

I love to prepare meals for my family. But, there are some people who just don't like to cook. My mother is one of them. Yet she did it anyway. And as a homemaker, I feel that my job is the house. Cleaning it, running it, cooking in it. I work very hard. But finally I have a job that I love. The rewards I get now far out-number the digits on my paychecks. And as far as not questioning my husband's judgment? Well that can be tricky. When it comes to finances and "big" problems, I do defer to my husband. The bible teaches women to be submissive to their spouses in all things. Not some things. All things. The husband is the head of the house just as Christ was the head of the church. But my husband will discuss plans with me. We make a decision together. However, if he was adamant about something or just "put his foot down", then, because that so rarely happens I would back down.

Now before anyone comes attacking me for my last sentence, understand that I'm not talking about illegal or immoral situations. I'm talking about the day in, day out happenings. And as far as the last bullet points - like not complaining if he were to stay out all night - well you can forget that one. And I do know my place. It is position of mutual integrity. And "serving" my husband gives me a sense of satisfaction that I never got in the workplace. Because he respects and appreciates me more than they ever did!

So while this article might seem a little antiquated to some, maybe you should reevaluate it. Take it for what it's worth. It's really about showing your appreciation for the one you love.

The Smell of Pumpkin

Nothing quite says fall to me like the smell of pumpkin. Pumpkin candles, pumpkin pie - it just screams comfort, doesn't it? I love pumpkin seeds, displaying pumpkins, carving them. They just automatically bring a smile to my face. They immediately put me in a comfort zone, one in which I really never want to leave.

I like to display seasonal pictures around my house as I'm sure a lot of you do as well. And harvest scenes are one of my favorites. In Nunnie's Attic we sell a lot of miniature prints and pictures typically for dollhouses. But, I thought I would share an idea we got one time from a customer. She bought a few pictures to hang in her cubicle at work. Her cube consisted of 3 half-walls. She couldn't hang any pretty pictures due to the weight and she wanted to display seasonal pictures and ones of her family. We can make any picture into a miniature and frame it for you. Our prints ended up working really well for her and she was able to hang more than one in the space she was provided. Please take a minute and see what pictures we offer.

In the meantime, let me share with you one of my MOST favorite pumpkin recipes. This recipe is courtesy of Paula Deen (my idol) and is one that I have been making for years. Enjoy the fall and get out there and pick some pumpkins!!

Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake

Cake:
1 (18 1/4-ounce) package yellow cake mix
1 egg
8 tablespoons butter, melted
Filling:
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
8 tablespoons butter, melted
1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Combine the cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well with an electric mixer. Pat the mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13 by 9-inch baking pan.

To make the filling: In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and pumpkin until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla, and butter, and beat together. Next, add the powdered sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and mix well. Spread pumpkin mixture over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Make sure not to overbake as the center should be a little gooey.

Serve with fresh whipped cream. Enjoy!!

Where Were You?

A Day of Remembrance (click here)

It's hard for me to put into words the horror and complete helplessness I felt that day and weeks to follow. I hadn't grown up during any war, really. Desert Storm had only lasted 100 days and it was over. And it was over...there. Nothing ever happened here. I had seen pictures and footage of war-torn Poland and South Korea and Vietnam and other countries as a child. And I remember thinking – thank God nothing like that happens here. But then it did. I don't know if it's right to say “thankfully” it was only one day. But what a difference a day makes.

I watched the news day in and day out. Every waking minute I could spare was dedicated to the TV. I sobbed for those who died. I sobbed for their families. I sobbed for those still searching and for those who had found. I sobbed because my family was spared. And because yours might not have been. I was working for a health insurance company then. We found out the first tower was hit by a caller on another representative's phone. She started screaming “my son is there, my son is there.” I had never felt my heart sink the way it did just then. Then the calls ceased, completely. We turned on the TV in the lunch room and we watched in horror as the 2^nd tower was hit and then the Pentagon. Then we heard of the plane crash here in Pennsylvania. Everything seemed to be happening in warp speed but in slow-motion at the same time. It was an experience that I never wish to relive again and one that I will never forget.

I humbly ask that you take a minute and pray for their souls, their families and yes, even for their attackers.

Dear Heavenly Father,

May all of those affected by that terrible tragedy take comfort in Your arms. Wrap them, Lord in Your love and minister to their spirit at this very moment. For while we may never know the reasons behind Your plans on this earth, surely we will know them in heaven. And may we always stand One Nation, Under God.

In Jesus' name, Amen

New Game

Since I struggled with what I was going to post this morning - I thought I would take the cue from Debbie at Random Thoughts from A to Z. If you want to play - please do so and then let me know so that I can see your answers. But this just looked like fun to me....and I had nothing.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Missy Cherokee

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
English Toffee Pudding Choc Chip

3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
J Goe

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Purple Cat

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Ann Rochester

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Goe Ju

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (The word The, 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Red Coke Zero

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Dominic James

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy)
Amber Nude Youth Dew Chocolate (that one really cracked me up!!)

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names )
Ann Joseph

So there ya have it. A few more useless facts about me. Have a great day!

Are You Ready for Some Football??

The Steelers' first regular season game is today!! And, as always, against the hated Cleveland Browns. What the hell is a Brown anyway?

For the past 38 years the Steelers' franchise has only had 2 coaches - Chuck Noll (winning 4 SuperBowls) and Bill Cowher (winning one.) Mike Tomlin has the been named as the new leader of Steel Town and he looks to be impressive.

I remember as a child watching my father and brother watch the game. And I chuckle because I think putting up the Christmas decorations took much longer than necessary due to the several breaks that took place during game time. As I grew up I became more interested in football. I watched something on HBO one time about the game. Old-timers who talked about their love of the game. About how they really can't stand when the players do their end zone dance. One former player said I don't believe anyone in the accounting department does a dance when the books balance. Those players are just doing their job, that handsome salary handed to them is contingent upon that! Gotta love old-school thinking! Now during that special, I heard clips of the players recorded on the field. Blue 32 - Hut Hut - Bpssh! And it was at that moment that I fell in love with football. Plus they were playing cool music in the background.

I watched more than a few games with my best friend and her mom. Oh her dad watched too. But her mom absolutely bled Black and Gold. Her house (inside and out) was always decorated for the Steeler games. The year after she passed away the Steelers won their 5th SuperBowl. Don't think for one second Nancy Jane didn't have something to do with that. So here's to you Mom - we'll be thinking of you today!!

A few stats (or what I like to call - More reasons to point and laugh at the Brownies):

The Steelers have won seven straight games over the Browns, and 17 of the last 20 meetings in the series. They are also 7-1 all-time at Cleveland Browns Stadium, winning six straight there since a 23-20 loss Sept. 17, 2000.

The Browns went 4-12 last season for their fourth consecutive last-place finish, a span in which they have gone a combined 19-45. (HA HA!!)

The Browns have opened the season at Cleveland Browns Stadium every year since it opened in 1999, but are just 1-7 in those games. (Aw poor babies.)

Pittsburgh, meanwhile, has won four straight season openers - tied with Atlanta for the longest opening-week winning streak in the NFL.

So I'm looking forward today to get back into the swing of things. Church, football and family (both blood and not.) What's better than that??

Headaches, Rain and the Whole Darned Thing

So here we are - again. Rain! I think we managed to go a whole week without it. But it's back with a vengeance! I keep waiting for the power to go out. It has flickered a few times.

Yesterday I had a migraine from hell. One that makes you sick to your stomach and even 'Welcome Lights' appear as the sun to your aching eyes. Throw in the infamous PA humidity and kids wanting to go here and there and can this one come over - and you have a whollop of a headache. I still managed to get dinner on the table (shrimp scampi over linguine no less.) So my family thinks "Gee what a trouper." When they really have no idea that you can't get much simpler than that. Oil, butter, garlic and shrimp. Ta-Dah!

Anyway - I'm thinking that my migraines may be in part to the Diet Pepsi or Coke Zero that I drink. Some do-gooder sent my husband an email about the effects of aspartame on the body. And how it causes migraines and evidently can lead to Pandora's Box which houses various ailments. So I started drinking Pepsi One. It's made with Splenda. No aspartame, yay! But the stinking distributors around these here parts don't feel that it was enough of a "mover" so they pulled it from the shelves. Thanks! Do you have any idea how many products contain aspartame? Read the labels some time, kitties. It's everywhere. Diet drinks, Crystal-Light. So if you want to cut back on calories - you have to suffer with headaches. I guess it's some sort of trade-off. Feel good, be fat. Lose weight, splitting headache. Everybody has options.

Since my husband just recently started his new job, we were without health insurance for the first 90 days. Praising the Lord that there were no serious calamities in this house during that duration. But, it just kicked in. So on Monday I can call my doc again get a refill on my Maxalt.

But in the meantime, it's raining again. Which tends to lend itself to lazy days. I can't decorate my porch like I wanted because the rain is coming in sideways (Sideways, good movie, random thought.) So I can put up some fall stuff in my dining and living rooms. But, (stomping my foot) I wanted to buy mums today and do my porch. I got all inspired to work on my porch after having seen Polly's porch. Now I have to wait. And I hate waiting....

New Friends and Blessings

I have been blogging now for a little over one-half of a month. I have met some wonderfully talented and certainly witty people. I have seen the homes I dream of having. I have read the lines I wish I could write. I am amazed that I went 34 1/2 years before I found the joy in blogging. What was I doing all that time?

As I pondered over about what my today would include I read some emails. I get a daily devotional from Crosswalk and one from Joel Osteen (smiling Joel, as I like to call him.) I also get an email on "Daily Tips For Being a More Generous Wife." I can't always seem to apply those tips as I would like, ha ha. But, as I was reading these emails this morning I thought of my new blogging friends. On the surface everything appears to be in order. Their lives appear fulfilled. Their houses appear beautiful. And their relationships appear to be thriving. But it occurred to me that sometimes the truth is hidden just beneath the surface. What if every day one or some or all put on a brave face and type as though they have no worries but in reality they're suffering inside? Is that possible? These well-put-together moms and friends and sisters. Is it possible that they're struggling with issues such as I on any given day?

Crosswalk's devotional today included a piece about Paul's letter to the Romans, ""Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." This passage calls us past the neighbor level, past the acquaintance level, past the "just friends" level, and up to familial devotion. It calls us to look at those around us and consider how we can honor them with our time and attention, as we would our brother or sister."

The email from Joel: "Your time is coming! The dreams and desires, the things you want to accomplish, the situations you want to see changed will happen. Just because it has taken a long time, or because you’ve tried and failed, don’t give up on those dreams. Don’t be complacent about pursuing what God has placed in your heart. I encourage you today — get your fire back! It may be taking a long time, but God is a faithful God. No matter how long it’s been, no matter how impossible it looks, if you’ll stay in faith, your time is coming. Every dream that’s in your heart, every promise that has taken root, God not only put it there, but He has every intention of bringing it to pass. Start declaring today, “My time is coming… God is working behind the scenes on my behalf… I will fulfill my destiny… I will fulfill the plan God has for my life!” As you declare and expect and wait for the appointed time, your faith will grow. Your hope will grow. And you’ll step into the destiny God has in store for you!"

I have often told my mother (Mommy of Nunnie's Attic) that God is talking to me. Once I whispered that to her in church and she whispered back: Right now? And we giggled a little. But I seriously believe that when you open your heart and your ears to the Lord that He will answer you. It may not come in the answer you were hoping for. Or in the designated time you prayed about. But it will come! And in doing so, listening for the word of God, you perhaps bend your ear to another. You tend to comfort people a little more. Rejoice with them a little more.

So again I think of my new friends. And I hope that their lives are as they seem in blogland. But I know that may not be the case for some or all for that matter. So I offer up this prayer for you. May you find courage, hope and peace in it:

Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. Amen.